24 September 2011


Googling has a perverse power over me.  Out here I have a lot of free time without all the distractions of “normal” life.  So when most people in casual conversation say, hmmm I wonder if we had a Quaker president, they then let the thought quickly pass.  Instead, I catalog these moments to later google.  Today I spent a good half an hour researching the religion of each president.  Dwight D Eisenhower was raised a Jehovah Witness!  Who would’ve thought.  Instead of leading NATO in WWII, he could’ve been at your grandma's front door telling her why birthdays are evil.

I also like using google after I have any type of military conversation.  I need to look up all the acronyms of what they just said that I nodded my head in agreement to when really I’m thinking are 40 Mike Mikes like 34 DDs?  Are they bigger than say, 40 Mikes?  Are there 40 Mikes? 

So I google it.  I want to understand when someone tells me that they are 13Bravo and their PL was yelling at them when their MRAP narrowly missed an IED 2 clicks outside the COP then they got hit with RPGs and the ANA didn't do anything, but it’s all good because they now just went to DFAC and the MWR and can enjoy some R&R after taking off their ACUs and putting on PTs while hanging out in their RLB with their NCO.  Roger that?

The other night I awoke from a horrible nightmare that the marathon I am running in November was tomorrow and I was completely unprepared for it.  Now marathon training in a warzone is just about as much fun as it sounds.  There is a lot of dust and the constant stench of the poo pond.  It is also still really hot (about 93 right now mid-day), and I can’t do any training at night because it is not safe.  I’m not allowed to wear a tank top, but I have to wear a reflective belt.  Sexy!  Also it is hard to work out at the gym because it is always packed with guys wanting to get their deployment shred on by drinking muscle milk and doing mad reps in their ranger panties so they can go home ripped.  (Ranger panties are incredibly short shorts that are approximately two inches of material larger than your average speedo).  In spite of these disadvantages I have still somehow managed to run up to 16 miles in a stretch, which is right on track for the training schedule I had googled.  Yet, I still needed something to make me feel better, so  I googled.  Turns out Kandahar sits at 3,337 feet above sea level, and Ft Benning is at 310.  Instant smile!  That’s bound to give me some sort of advantage!

Google pulls through again!  Now on to google how to prevent losing your toenails while running 26.2 miles.  I heard it could happen!


  1. The toenail thing is slop about the shoes and socks from what I understand. Did skemp, keep being amazing.

  2. All and dude. Also, a note, droids have instant spell correct whether you need it or not.